I gave, now i'm wanting. So cry just a little for me.

I've been trying to take more time recently to sit and be still and reflect on things. Be present. Life, the day, my surroundings, etc.
This morning, I was supposed to have a date at one of my favorite little coffee shops. I had text a friend last night saying that I had this weird feeling that I was going to be stood up. It wasn't anything he had said (or not said) that made me feel this way, I just had this gut feeling that I'd be alone. I woke up this morning, taking a casual approach to the date, I started to get myself around and put together. I shot off a quick text to say "Excited for coffee this morning. See you at 10, yeah?". I didn't get a text back. I held out till the very last minute to leave my apartment without being late. I made it to the shop with 5 minutes to spare.
I stepped inside the shop, and like on any weekend day, it was buzzing with activity. I took a quick glance around, and not seeing my date, made my way to the counter. I ordered a latte and a muffin.
"For here, or to go?" It was the moment of choice. The paper to-go cup would offer me the freedom to leave and vacate the emptiness and sadness that would overcome me if I was stood up; the ceramic mug would offer me a great Instagram photo and appearance of being content while completely alone.
"For here, please."
The waitress offered me my muffin on a pristine, modern, white plate. A clean slate.
I made my way to the only open table for 2.  I text my friend, "At the coffee shop for my date. No word from XXX this morning. I still fear that I might be stood up.". My friend reassured me that there are a lot of stop lights in the area, and maybe they were just running behind. With every chime of the door opening, my head swivels in anticipation. Is this it, is it him? As 5 minutes late turns to 10, I start to settle deeper into my chair. I look around an notice the groups of friends chatting about their kids, the group of students studying, the business partners talking about acquisitions, the young couple sharing coffee and a smile. Everyone here is, well part of something. I'm the only person in the entire shop that is alone. My phone buzzes. "Well??", ask my friend. "Nope. Stood up." It's 10:34 am, he's over a half hour late. Safe to say, he's not coming. Damn it, why did I get this for here! I could have scooted our the door. My friend offered to come meet me, and cheer me up, but I'm in such a foul mood that I just want to go home. I stick around though, sipping my coffee and finishing off my muffin. On the way home, I let the hurt consume me. I cry. I have flashbacks to being told, "You're nothing special.", "You're not worth it.", "You'll never find anyone else.", "No one else will love you.".  Was he right? I know I deserve better than I had with him, but I also haven't found happiness with someone since.
This isn't a pity party. No, woe is me. This morning's events forced me to step out of my comfort zone, be present somewhere, be comfortable being uncomfortable, be alone, and be me. I've spent my afternoon being lazy, and reflecting on this morning. I've mulled over the idea of texting the date that didn't show, not to berate him for standing me up, but to ask what happened and why. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I know I deserve better, and I deserve an apology. I know I'll likely never get that. After all, this is the 4th or 5th time I've been stood up in the past year and a half. One guy told me "You're way out of my league. I saw you and knew I wouldn't stack up.".  How do we determine our worth in another's eyes? At what point to we bring ourselves, naked as the day, to someone else to see our true worth?